Church of BSD

http://www.unixprogram.com/churchofbsd/
Если я уж явно в какой церкви, то в BSD!

    One day I was at a restaurant explaining process control to one of
    my disciples.
    I was mentioning how we have to kill the children (child processes)
    if they become unresponsive. Or we can even set an alarm for the
    children to kill themselves. That the parent need to wait (wait3)
    and acknowledge that the child has died or else it will become a
    zombie.
    The look of horror the woman sitting across had was unforgettable. I
    tried to explain it was a computer software thing but it was too
    late, she fled terrified, probably to call the police or something.
    I didn't really want to stick around too long to find out.

Как минимум, эта церковь лучше GNU/Linux-овой хотя бы вот этим:
http://www.unixprogram.com/churchofbsd/bsd-vs-linux-s.jpg